Is Colon Cleansing the answer to fecal buildup, constipation, bloating, and stomach pain?

Posted on

Is Colon Cleansing the answer to fecal buildup, constipation, bloating, and stomach pain?

7

I was recently told that I was full of crap! I pondered this question for a moment or two, then headed straight to you, the insightful ones.

So how is one to know if they are truly in need of a cleansing, or as what a colonic preveyor may refer to as detoxification.

Now, if my schooling taught me anything, it was that the colon, also called the large intestine follows the small intestine and comprises the end of the gastrointestinal tract. Now, we learned that most nutrients from food are absorbed in the small intestine. This would entail the colon to absorb water and salts from the stool while it pushes it along through the rectum. Correct?
Wouldn’t laxatives work just the same? They promote bowel movements, have been around for atleast 3892 Years!
Colon cleansing refers to a more invasive procedure of water and hoses stuck you-know-where. It’s not clear when this practice started.

It’s not poo in the toilet that ponders my couriosity, it’s the poo in me!

Your current state of turdity demands an immediate response. Perhaps you need to perform a colonic irrigation to relieve yourself of the unwanted waste. Although quite similar to an enema, colonic irrigation often includes minerals and and additives to better cleanse the colon. Hey, are you done with that cup of Starbuck’s finest? Good, pour it in…what about the latest Wall Street Journal? Add that, too (finely ground up of course). Once you’ve added the ingredients of choice (or convenience), then you just need to insert the tube into your rectum and release the valve on your metal bucket (un-crimp the tube).

Soon, the refreshingly cool fluid will start to permeate your colon and fill you with joy. Once you feel as though you can’t take it anymore and are ready to blow out your insides…remove the tube from your rectum (do this over the toilet) and release your precious, fibrous, coffee flavored poo.

I hope this helps, and in the future, you might find it more advantageous to list this in the “health” section of Yahoo Answers instead of the “ethnic cuisine” section (although you can probably establish a cause and effect relationship here).

SEO Services by RedHotRankings.com

No related posts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *